don't sweat the technique. let it flow.

2005-06-02T20:33:00.000+08:00

OOOps~!
haven blogged in days. been busy and hectic. Had DPM module today, super boring! Its all abt photography, and im camera allergic! wat irony. Had school as per normal.. lame module.. lame presentation etc etc etc. Then! had to rehearse for some lame shit stupid variety night thingy for tmr. Have to merge with a class of leeches. I painfully wrote e script when they fuckin dun give 2 cents abt it. then when its CRUNCH TIME.. they still wanna use my script and edit. FAGS. Its my intellectual property hello? I dun build a house for u to do paste e last brick and call it your home. if u guys dun have e decency to come out with ur own ideas... sigh. nvm. nvm. disorganization is e root to all inefficiency.

drats. nvm. lets all just JERK IT OUT!

gotta run already. will blog soon i hope. ciao.

2005-05-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

hellooooooo people!

today was a artalistic day. we had.. ARTS! or rather.. Drawing Fundamentals. which was almost anything but fundamentals. hmm. upon entering e classroom.. was shoved an easle and a drawing board. was supposed to set up e ironic easle.. which was anything but EASY. then sat down and was supposed to draw.. 3 objects. complete with shading and all. not an easy task for someone hu hasnt ever PASSED arts. haha. i guess i didnt do too bad a job. e rest of e day was rather sketchy. and i mean sketchy! had to sketch lotsa stuffs. after school. lobbed over to my uncle's place to pick up e tennis racket and went to queensway to re-sting it. while it was sadistically being re-strung. e rest of da gang shopped around for various sporting goods. now im all jet set and ready for tennis tmr. god bless sharapova. narf.

2005-05-29T00:26:00.000+08:00

roar! haven blogged in a couple o days. tumultuous times have set in. hahaha. been hanging out with da gang for e past few days without fail.. and Huei Shan plus our super new member.. Michelle!(a.k.a Jia Jing). he's a guy btw, just in case ur wondering. Bump. shall update on e few days be4 tooo!

26-5-05

Fantabulous day. I & E day. Games and shit. Had to roll up a mat overflowing with testosterone and mud and egg yolk. never felt MANLIER. lol. 5 of us had to roll up a hill of 2 floor mats. erm. i meant ROLL OVER each other up a hill of 2 mats. other den that, e other games were pretty lame and unmentionable. Went to makan at bukit timah after that and hanged out as usual. Oh ya! i got seduced at e Bukit timah hawker centre. Some lady tried to seduce with exta Chicken Karaage. lol. Like I'm ever susceptible to seductions. =X

27-5-05
Talks day. Helluva talks. Talk talk talk. Day of talkaholics. Had a redundant talk in e library abt getting images from e net.. den had a rather refreshing talk abt "who moved my cheeeeeez".
After e talks.. had to do a project and present. ditto to yesterday, where we had to save humpty dumpty from e evil clutches of gravity. Went to makan at jurong with e gang, then went IMM with jon and huei shan.

TODAY.
hmmmmm. woke up at eightish. checked sms. and slept again till eleven-ish. den whizzed to serangoon to get my hair done up nicely... fast forward many hours later. went to meet wei zhen and her sotong friend at bugis. bought my orange D.C bag den chionged to cineleisure to supposedly meet invisible jon and jia jing. plans of watching moving animated madagascan animals were spurned by e utter lack of seats. ended up having to indulge in food at pastamania at plaza singapura busstops away. den we lamed around on wheelchairs b4 heading of to clarke quay for our NIGHTLIFE segment of e day. walked up and down clarke quay till eventually we settled down at TCC. had our own arts fest, taking snapshots of everything and anything. Eventually it got late and we all have to go home and get laid. erm. i mean lay down LAID.
oh yea. Today is officially Jia Jing Initiation day. Welcome to e small humble gay and lame family of ACG. may e farce be with u as much as it has been with us.
toodles.

Quotes of the week.
From our delectable big hunky classmate...Qian Hao ( in a super low tone...)
"Say What?" "Play games Looooooooooooooooooooooooooor"

From our genius afro wannabe Charis
"Who needs a farmer?" "Furry Mini Skirt"

From my freaking gay Brother Jon who loves to use my lines.. and finish my sentences....
"Bai eh simi seh!"

And that wraps up an exciting first week of schoool.

for pictures of our gay outings.. refer to http://shansational.blogdrive.com

thank u. have a nice day. pls come again.

last but not least. dun spank me pls.

2005-05-25T22:16:00.000+08:00

woah. today was a good day to die. had a MOCK practice of how my normal day would be.. and it was hectic as hell. early in e morn had notebook setting-up session. after a long break. our mentor came and taught us how to use Macromedia FreeHand. Super cool program. was then given only an hour to do a Kick-ass poster for a project. presented and all. then went Bukit Timah Hawker centre for dinner with e ACG's (johnathan, jia yi, wei zhen, alvin and meeeeeee) den headed home and almost missed my stop. Life's feeling good. and.. sleeeepy now. cya peeps.

2005-05-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

Hellooooooooooooooooooo Peeeeps!
ur resident blogger is back!
Today's e first day of schoool, and it was a blast. Woke up at like 6.15 and i was ready to leave home by 7am. Slowly made my way to clementi central, and grudgingly waited for my 154/184. To my utter delight, as soon as i reached e busstop e bus came already. Then waited for my classmates outside school be4 walking almost e whole diameter of ngee ann to get to blk38.
S & W (sports and wellness) briefing was pretty boring, den we got to pick our poison. I was forced totally against my wish to join Tennis with Jia Yi and Johnathan.(So not true) Considering there was only 24 seats and hundreds of student, i was surprised i managed to squeeze into e group. After S & W, walked back all e way to block 5 for my CATS (Creative and thinking skills) class. My teacher seriously looks like he has a toupe, everytime he flicks his hair.. ALL OF IT MOVES. or rather.. FLAPS. he seems pretty gay as well and boring to boot. I unsurprisingly dozed off, and he tricked me into answering his question wrongly. Jebus!
After school, went to central for lunch with johnathan, jia yi, alvin and wei zhen. good atmosphere between us throughout e day.. laffing barfing all around. Also jetted over to bugis and bras basah to hang out and get my items for my two artsy fartsy modules. Came home soon after.. and now... rest is goooooooooooooooooood.

2005-05-07T02:21:00.000+08:00

cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeken!
spent e last 10 days tryin to freakin update. or rather.. POST.
blogger hates me. indeeeeeeed
hahaha. niwaes. life's been a breeze. been jogging.. swimming and hittin e gym.
kingdom of heaven is finally out! im soooo gonna watch it like 6742 times. i've got 6741 sessions left. anyone wanna book me? prices are negotiable.

gawd. 6 more days to taiwan!
jetstarasia summore. lets spell B-U-D-G-E-T.

wats with e weather man. few days back.. its so hot i'll sweat 2 mins after a bath. now its so cloudy and rainy.. i havent seen e sun in 24 hours! jebus!

2005-04-22T12:02:00.000+08:00

where is my laptop?!?!?!?!
its 4 days late.
!@#$%^&*()
watch out acer!
its confirmed!!! im going to taiwan. away from sillypore. into cheeeena land. people, may e force be with me. sekali come back CHEEEENALISED.
Pwned.

2005-04-19T20:37:00.000+08:00

Hey guys.. just back from e gym.
Awfully tired.
Wheeee. There's a chance that i'll be going taiwan in May. Fantabulous!

Niwaes. here's some random shite. will update more properly next time. toodles.
p.s e guy below is NOT me. thanks.

'Live-blogging' a first (and definitely last) date.

This past weekend I somehow scored a date with this chick who is WAY out of my league, so I thought I would document it by “live blogging” the entire thing. The plan is to bring my laptop along, and give you (and her) the juice as it happens. I know what you’re thinking: “Why didn’t I think of that?” or more likely: “You are a retard.” Well, I’m doing it anyway.

Just for the record before I start, nothing about this seems like a bad idea at all and I’m 100% sure it won’t backfire in any way. Let’s do it.

7:30 p.m. - I thought I told her I’d pick her up at 7:00, but I decide to be “fashionably late.” What I didn’t realize was that I’d taken “fashionably late” to a new level, as I was supposed to pick her up at 6:00. LAST Friday.

7:37 p.m. - She says she’s in the middle of doing “pilates,” but I don’t see any airplanes anywhere. She is a liar. After a few minutes of persuasion, I finally convince her to bury the hatchet and come out even though she’s still a little pissed. (Hopefully at the end of the night I’ll get to “bury the hatchet” too.)

7:45 p.m. - Alright we’re in the car on the way to the restaurant. I put in Meatloaf’s Bat out of Hell. This is my dating litmus test. If a chick doesn’t appreciate rock perfection, she doesn’t deserve to appreciate my superior wang. Unless she’s at least a D-cup or really, really smoking hot. Actually, the only criteria I have is that she’s female, and I’m even a little lenient on that.

7:57 p.m. - We just got to the restaurant, a nice little Italian place a friend told me about called Olive Garden. It’s supposed to be pretty good. They gave me one of those little light-up buzzers and then I sat down three feet from them. I guess in case I decide to do a couple of warm-up laps around the parking lot, they’ll know where to find me.

8:04 p.m. - She just now asked me why I brought my computer along. As if it wasn’t odd enough that earlier I was typing and driving at the same time. I told her that I had $1000 on the Clippers and I needed to see how they were doing. “You’re funny,” she said.

8:33 p.m. - Got our table. I usually like to flirt with the waitresses a little to keep my dates on their toes, but tonight a tubby guy named Tony will be taking care of us. I tell him he has pretty eyes anyway.

8:40 p.m. – I try to make conversation, but having any intelligent interaction with this girl is like playing “Find the Talent” with Ashlee Simpson and Carrot Top. (She’s dumb.)

9:05 p.m. – Our food just arrived. She ordered some kind of salad. I don’t know if you’ve been to Olive Garden before, but ordering a salad there is like a skinny guy with long hair asking for anal penetration in jail. It’s GOING to happen regardless, except in jail I’m pretty sure “salad” has an entirely different meaning.

9:43 p.m. - Dinner’s over. She just excused herself to “go throw up.” Now I’m not usually a big pro-bulimia guy, but at least she’s honest about it I guess. Wait… I just paid for her meal and she’s just going to puke it up? How disrespectful is that? Should I make her pay for it? There’s no way I’m flushing my mom’s hard-earned money down the toilet like that. Literally.

9:50 p.m. - We just left the restaurant. I couldn’t bring myself to make her pay for her meal. Not to worry, I have a plan to make this little overly-self-conscious regurgitation engineer get her “just desserts.”

9:53 p.m. - For some reason I tell her she can pick the movie. My suggestion: anything but Fever Pitch. Her choice: Fever Pitch. She says: “Jimmy Fallon is funny. And cute.” I say: “And dealing with a couple extra chromosomes.” She doesn’t get it.

10:10 p.m. – Arrived at the movie theater, only for me to realize that I’d “accidentally left my wallet at the restaurant.” She says she’ll take care of it. After tickets, popcorn, a couple of drinks and my mandatory Sour Patch Kids, her grand total came to just over $40 (which is $10 more than I paid for our meals if you’re scoring at home, or even if you’re alone). I rule.

11:45 p.m. - The movie is over, THANK GOD. She says: “Did you LOVE it?” I say: “I can think of a few things I would have rather done with my time.” Like unscrewing a couple burnt-out light bulbs and smashing them into my eye sockets.

(In hindsight, I guess you could get the same effect with normal light bulbs, not just burnt-out ones. Whatever.)

11:57 p.m. - On the way home from the movie, in a last ditch effort to cop a cheap feel, I try Frank Costanza’s “stop short” move, but it goes horribly wrong when I miscalculate the arm angle and she catches the business end of my elbow with her nose. We’re on the way to the hospital now. She isn’t happy. I’m trying to figure out how to get blood out of my new shirt.

12:11 a.m. - I tend to get a little squeamish when dealing with the sick and injured, so I dropped her off at the emergency room. Also, I’m pretty sure at this point in the evening my odds of getting any action are about as good as Michael Jackson ever fathering a human child.

(I think that was the first joke ever that included Michael Jackson and a child in which Michael Jackson did not have sex with said child. MJ likes little boys. There.)

12:28 a.m. - I am now sitting in the hospital parking lot stealing their wireless internet to look at porn. It’s amazing what they’re doing with science these days.

2:01 a.m. - I wake up from a deep sleep to her knocking on the window wearing one of those plastic facemasks that basketball players wear when they break their nose. I don’t know if I should be more embarrassed about the fact that I’m on a date with Bill Laimbeer or that I’d fallen asleep mid-pump, with my pants around my ankles and my penis in my hand.

2:11 a.m. – This has got to be the most awkward car ride of my entire life. Except maybe the time my mom had to come pick me up at school because I’d fallen asleep in the reading loft mid-pump, with my pants around my ankles and my penis in my hand.

2:20 a.m. - I drop her off at her house. She says: “Thanks for like the worst date I’ve ever had, jackass. Don’t call me, EVER.” I say: “You’re fat.”

2005-04-16T22:19:00.000+08:00

bump!.

Veni, Vedi, Vinci
I came, I saw, I conquered

*flashback*
hmm. now for a bit of yesterday.
i was feeling very RESPONSIBLE. so i went to visit my infamous 3 single aunts who are aged 30/40/50. sat down with em for chats and some coffee. then walked over to avenue 2 for dinner at my maternal granparent's place. its a wonder how babies change week by week? my baby cousin was very fat last week. and she's lost almost half of e fats dis week. secrets of e babies' greeen poop perhaps. she's cute as hell as ever. now she can crawl atrociously fast and make tons of funny expressions with her faces. elasticity is e word. RUBBER-face!
she's a indian chinese btw. so i bet she'll be super super hot next time. hur hur hur.
had a swim b4 i did any of e things above and i felt very lethargic. my body is gettin weirder and weirder. barf. after dinner and all high tailed home with my mom . once i stepped into my lil cave, mathi called me out to queensway.. cos sissy sarah wants to buy shoes! wheeeee. nice pink shoes. hanged out with till eleven plus.. den came home and forcefully planted my self on my bed. a struggle of titanic proportions ensued. as e last gleams of light shone through my eyes.... i got up and charged my phone and off e tv b4 i conclusively concussed myself into dreamland.
*end of flashback*

its a fantabulous day for a jog isn't it?
guess what? i did.
wanted to swim but e clouds just aint been paying attention to my needs.
woke up at 11ish. dreadfully. i really need to wake up earlier. even if its 10ish. at least i get a lil bit more out of e mornings that have been given to me. sheeesh. i dun even remember wat breakfasts taste like anymore.
just got back fromdinner at my godparent's place. im feeling inclined to share that my spanking brand new laptop has an Estimated Arrival Time of 24 hours. i can't wait to reubenize it. =X
okie that sounds extremely kinky.

random shite.
quiksilver really needs a new online-store. i hope they do read this. really.
wats up with lemons and lemonade? is this som enew tagline? i've got 3 people on my msn contact list with e following secret japanese korean russian encoding:
When life gives u lemon's make lemonade.
What if life gives u shit. like it always do?
We'll say. Shit Happens.
Say No to Pessimism campaign as started.
once again i'll like to remind many dumb assholes that 1st january of e year A.D 2000 is not DOOMSDAY.
thank you come again.

soccer time! so im gonna leave now.
yup.
NOW.
laters.

2005-04-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. welcome to my humble a-blog.
MATRICULATION DAY. was fun. so exciting k? we did so many fun stuff! like passing up forms.. tearing forms from a booklet. and passing up more forms! amazing right? i so can't believe it. Its soo soo cool yea? Alright. enuff of bs already. woke up at like.. 1. rushed down to central to photocopy my bankbook. den trudged down to ngee ann. saw hidayat e kotek at one of e green stations. submitted e forms.. and voila! bought my laptop. they say they'll deliver on monday. sweeeeeet.
came home.. slacked.. then went for a jog. now im shat tired. a lil joke for everyone.. and
im off! later peeps.

Who's Your Daddy?

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms:

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins; child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue, where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

2005-04-13T18:01:00.000+08:00

yo peeps. its me. im back.
pray i'll be nice.
ok.
thanks.
bye.

gawd. finally done up all my matriculation stuff for tmr.
i had kinda normal day i guess. woke up, shaked my ass and jet off to clementi central.
visited OCBC bank and paid for my tuition grants etc. My dad insists on using his CPF to pay, so that i will have to pay him back next time. Sweeeeeeet. Crawled to clementi ave 2, visited e old photo-shop lady, and took a spanking passport-size photo for e poly id. Saw a doctor who always used to give me MC's and took my colour vision test. Some people think i must be colourblind.
On my way home, raided shevenereven for a sandwich and voila! im home.

just got back from my job and was busy linking all u peeps out there when my browser just closed by itself before i could even save. now i gotta do all that shat all over again!
!@#$omfgwtfbbqchickenwing

alright. thats about all i guess.
chill peeps.
good day and good bye

An ointment has been annoited on an annointment ceremony where it is now an ointment.
did that not make sense or did that not make sense?
laters.